Friday, September 4, 2009

How much is that doggie in the window?

Priceless, just priceless. And it cracks me up everytime it happens. Ah, jees. Allow me to explain:

When my husband leaves for work, I will see him off (sometimes, not very often, I'm no Mrs. Cleaver) and wave to him from the door. Sometimes I'll wave to him from the 2nd floor bedroom window, instead. Gonzo's right there, looking up at me, as if to say,"He's coming right back, right? Can you still see him? Is he out there?" I tell our boy, "Sorry, Gonzo, he got away again. We'll have to try harder to keep him here next time." If I leave the door to the enclosed porch open, our boy will lay out there for awhile, then dejectedly resign to his bed behind the computer chair with a deep sigh.

Gonzo gets beyond excited when my husband gets home. I can wind our boy up by just saying my husband's name close to homecoming (yes, it's as big as a high school homecoming every night to Gonzo, complete with duck-toy parade. Gotta love him.)

I was upstairs one day close to homecoming, and I got an idea. I decided to show Gonzo that if he stood on his hind legs he could see out the bedroom window to the street below. We waited in the bedroom until my husband pulled up, and I called Gonzo to the window. That's when the fun began. Our boy spotted my husband getting out of the car, and freaked out! Success!

So now, when we both go out, our boy will bark at us out the window (hey, come back here!) and when we get home, he will bark, yelp, and make that high-pitched squealing noise I just love so much. The neighbors can hear it, and our neighbor down the street (she owns a shiz-tu named Archie) said he barked at us for a 1/2 hour after we left one day. That part is kind of sad, but when we get home and I can see that tiny little head above the sill, well, I laugh every time. One day I came home, and I could hear Gonzo's barking but he wasn't in the window. We had one of those expanding window fans in his way, so our dog was standing on the bed, looking through the fan, barking at me. Oh, funny, funny boy.

Good boy, Gonzo. We'll try not to stay out so long next time.

More to come, so come back if you're interested.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Gonzo's Dream Dance

So I was sitting on the sofa with our boy, when I heard a odd sound. Gonzo was sound asleep, snoring and dreaming. Of course, I grabbed the camera:

I edited music into it, "Dream Baby" by Roy Orbison, and it's posted on Youtube. Of course, I don't think one can hear the snoring as well. I felt I had to add the disclaimer on the end, because of the idgeots (IDG-E-OTS!)* that comment on dreaming dog videos that the dog is having some sort of fit.

Good Boy, Gonzo. This seemed like a sweet dream. Sorry I woke you.

*I had a co-worker once who was from some European country who would scream this at people. Is it a wonder I don't know what country he came from.? "IDG-E-OTS! I am SURRR-OUNDED by IDG-E-OTS!"

More to come, so come back if you're interested.

Heartbroken puppy

Our boy is heartbroken. My husband is working from home today, so he should be a happy boy, but alas that is not the case. My husband has an office area set up in our finished basement and actually is quite serious about maintaining a "office environment" there.

Gonzo barks sporadically at sudden noises, possible threats, and invisible squirrels. Just one or two barks, sometimes a growl-bark combo, but noisy nonetheless. Hard to maintain that "I'm-sitting-in-my-cubicle-talking-on-the-phone-on-the-third-floor-of-my-office-building," if there is a series of staccato barks coming from under your desk. Herein lies the problem. So the door to the basement is closed, Gonzo is not allowed downstairs during working hours, our boy can't even see my husband, and there he lies, devastated in front of the basement door in a heap on the floor. (Very Dr. Suess, wasn't that last bit?)

To cheer our boy up, I found another funny sign while searching for funny signs in Google Images. Odd how that search turned up a funny sign, isn't it?

Good boy, Gonzo. See, the sign even says so.

More to come so come back if you're interested.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Possibly not safe for work, however...

...this is a public road sign. (Scroll down, I moved the image to the bottom of the post.) I came across the sign in a image search for international road signs.

I believe this one stands for," Caution, if your auto breaks down, stay inside the vehicle until help arrives; the locals are uber friendly on this search of the roadway."

Or maybe: "Please don't feed the fornicators."

Possibly: "Remember to set the parking brake before engaging in (ahem.)"

Add your own caption in comments.

Good boy, Gonzo. Keep your paws over your eyes for a little while longer.

More to come, so come back if you're interested.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

It wasn't me!

Oh, our boy. He is a pack dog, through and through. In a pack of dogs, (cue the music from the dance/fight scene in "West Side Story,") at meal time, the canines at the top of the hierarchy of the pack will eat first. After the are finished, whatever is left behind is fair game for the lesser members of the pack. Sounds about right, right? Wonder how this translates in domesticated dog world?

It means if you leave it, you lose it. Especially around here. I can remember hearing Sarge's owner complaining that her son left his sandwich on the counter "for a second," and turned around to find Sarge had eaten it and was waiting for another. Our boy will get into the garbage as soon as we leave the house, which led to the raw pork eating /whole house steam cleaning incident of 2008. Oddly, Gonzo does not eat our cat's food. Ever. That is the exception, not the rule. (Can you tell I watched "He's Just Not That Into You" yesterday?)

The other area that seems to have a giant green light over it is the kitchen island. If we leave it, Gonzo will eat it. Especially bakery items. Our boy has eaten countless loaves of bread, an entire bag of these little Latin croissants (don't know what they are really, but oh-so-good,) and numerous bags of hot dog and hamburger rolls. Why don't we learn to use the bread drawer, you ask? Because we are beyond forgetful.

This morning, I awoke to an extremely loud belch from under the bed. Praying that our boy hadn't just barfed under there, I cajoled him out, and went downstairs to let him outside. As I turned to walk into the kitchen, I saw it there on the floor. The tray from the day-old donuts my husband had bought last night torn open with a gob of sprinkled frosting next to it. Of course, Gonzo was the culprit, skulking off under the dining room table, but sadly, my first instinct was not of our boy's health and well-being. Nope, not even close.

No, my first concern was that my husband would think that in the 12 hours he will be gone to work today (loooong commute) that I would eat all 4 of his day-old donuts. It wasn't me! I was actually going to try to stare down said donuts in a battle of will today. It really wasn't me!

Good Boy, Gonzo. Go eat some grass, and work on your skulk for when he gets home so he'll know it wasn't me, ok?

More to come, so come back if you're interested.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Our boy and the little girl next door

I've posted about Sarge's people who live on the one side of us. On the other side lives a family who have no cats or dogs but rabbits and birds. They also have a little girl who is obsessed with Gonzo. I think she really, really wants a pet that she can cuddle and train and hug and will follow her around...rabbits and/or birds aren't cutting it for her. But her parents have said that they don't want an animal that poops in a litter box or the backyard. Hmm? The birds poop in their cage and the rabbits poop in their is that at all different? All animals poop. Everybody poops. Meanwhile, Chrissy* plays in her backyard quietly, usually by herself, and I am a little sad for her.
Last night, Gonzo went out to do his thing, and she spotted our boy. Chrissy* ran to the fence and then it started. The pitiful pleas of "Gonzo, Gonzo, Gonzo, c'mere, Gonzo, Gonzo, Gonzo, Gonzo, good boy, c'mere....ah, c'mon Gonzo!" lasted for a full 5 minutes while I finished the dishes. (Did I mention that Gonzo just tolerates kids? He'd rather play with grown-ups.) I went out and brought Gonzo over to the fence where she could pet him and love him (and name him George.) But that's not enough.

That kid should have her own dog that she could love as much as we love our boy. Yes, it's a commitment, yes, it's work, but the joys of dog companionship far outweigh the duties. I may be a little biased here, because I do have the best dog ever (no offense, Penny.) Get the kid a dog, people! (steps off soapbox, straightens clothes, and smooths hair) Ahem.
*not her real name. It didn't seem right to post her name, not that there's weirdoes on the internet or anything.

Good Boy, Gonzo. You know she loves you, so go to the fence for her, hmm ? Just once, on your own?

More to come, so come back if you're interested.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Don't Eat That! (Don't feed these things to your pup)

Gonzo loves his veggies. I used to find this strange, because as a child I tried to feed our family beagle brussel sprouts, lima beans, and mixed vegetables to no avail. Mom would find a pile of veggies on the linoleum next to my chair. "Where were you when I was growing up?" I lament as Gonzo begs for cucumber peels and tomato tops from the cutting board. He actually would pick cherry tomatoes off the vine with his teeth last summer. We have grape tomatoes this season, and he doesn't seem interested. I understand that green tomatoes and leaves can make our boy sick, so I am careful not to feed him under-ripe ones or too much at a time.

It's hard to know what you can and can't feed a dog, because you'll read,"Don't feed X to a dog; it will kill them," meanwhile, your dog has been eating X since it was a puppy and is alive and well. I will give our boy lettuce and carrots (indigestible according to the online sources) and I used to feed him a few grapes every time I ate them by "accidentally" dropping them, but now I read that I may have damaged his kidneys with my treat.

To save heartache, I have put together a list of items that you shouldn't feed your pup, regardless of how sweetly he asks:

Apples, Apricots, Cherries, Peaches and Plums
Baking Powder or Baking Soda
Coffee Grounds
Dairy Products
Eggs and/or Egg Whites (raw)
Fatty Foods
Grapes and/or Raisins
Macadamia Nuts
Moldy or Spoiled Food
Onions or Garlic
Salt or salty foods like chips, pretzels, or ham
Tea or tea bags
Xylitol or other artificial sweetners
Yeast dough

The link above will take you to the list at and there you can read the reasons behind why you shouldn't feed these things to your pup.
Other sources: (notice it's a PDF file and will need to be opened, from Drs. Foster and Smith)

Good Boy, Gonzo. Eat a dog treat instead.

More to come, so come back if you're interested.