I used to drive a lot. I've been a bread delivery person, a sales rep, and a merchandiser with a service area from South Central PA, Philly and Northern DE. So spending all that time on the road, alone, I started doing stuff to alleviate boredom. You know, the stuff people do to pass the time on the road? Like one of my coworkers said when he and his group see one of those vanity plates with the two sets of initials on them, they come up with the names that would match the initials, starting with Mr. and Mrs. The example he gave was ABC DEC would be "Mr. and Mrs. Abernathy Bartholomew and Dorothy Elizabeth Connor." Probably very fun with kids.
Well, my game isn't so much a game (unless you would consider yelling ,'MOOOOOOOOO!" at cows a game) as it is a time-passer. When I see livestock along the roadside (safely in their fenced fields, I hasten to add, not roadkill), I have a saying for most types I see.
1.) cows- I nod my head and say,"Ladies," in the fashion of a man tipping his hat greeting a group of women.
2.) bulls- I call out,"That's just bull!"
3.) goats- "Hi, kids!"
4.) buffalo*-"Way to go, Buffalo!
5.) sheep- "No flockin' way!"
6.) deer - "Oh, d-d-deer, oh, d-d-deer-deer-deer," in the manner of Winnie the Pooh.
I don't have a saying for horses, as I have a traumatized dislike of them, having been thrown and never getting back on. And they smell bad, like a moldy wet dog.
It's a weird little pasttime, but it helps with the boredom. I find I still do it now, on my hour commute to and from work.
*There was a buffalo farm on my bread route, more on that another time.
Good boy, Gonzo. They're all just funny looking dogs to you, huh?
More to come, so come back if you're interested.
It makes me wonder every day as I drive past what this thing is supposed to be. After many miles back and forth, I have come to the conclusion that it's supposed to be a combination of all the male/female oversleeping commuters as it's shaving and putting on makeup as it's driving to work. The title link will show the other "monsters"on the Keystone website one can avoid by taking the train instead of driving: rubberneckers, construction, etc, but this is the one that disturbs me most. Men who wear makeup aren't a problem for me, per se, but I have always been freaked out by those performers whose costumes are half gown, half tuxedo. Probably frightened by one on "The Gong Show" as a kid.
